Yesterday we went back to the hospital to pick up June’s newborn pictures. Being back on the labor and delivery floor brought back so many memories. I can’t believe it has already been 18 days since we left the hospital and 20 days since she was born. Riding down in the elevator again I realized how much has changed since we first left the hospital. 

I realized how comfortable I have become with motherhood, especially breastfeeding. She lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time after she was born and it really scared me. It made me worry about her all the time. However, I realized last night that somewhere along the way I stopped worrying so much.

I don’t even think twice when breastfeeding her now. Since we are together all the time, I feed her on demand and don’t worry that I am not giving her enough because I know that I am. I also don’t worry when she cries or seems upset because I know how to comfort and soothe her. I am growing into my role as her mother and learning how to care for her in the best way possible. I still don’t have all the answers, but I am learning to trust myself more and more.

Last night when she was sleeping I placed her in our bed and watched her sleep and realized just how much I love her and how much I love being her mother. Sometimes it hurts my heart to love someone so much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.